Hergest Ridge

New Rule: Just because I can see somebody else’s point of view does not mean I sympathise with them, condone their behaviour, endorse them, and for that extra idiot point you’ve been going for: fuck them. Get over it.

What do WalMart, BestBuy, Procter & Gamble, and Travelocity have in common? Come to think of it, too much – forget I asked. But there is one thing I’d like for them and their likes to continue doing, and that’s pulling advertising money out from propaganda aired on FoxNews. (If this dream turns reality, FoxNews as a whole will go off air and the stupefied Under 50IQ Paranoiacs-R-Us will be left to wonder the streets, thus increasing their chances of getting killed by a speeding vehicle.)

Reports suggest that the list of companies requesting their advertisements not be part of Glenn Beck’s Duckspeak has now reached 20. (Source: The Huffington Post)

Even God is pleased; using angels’ blood He signed a self-imposed Cease to Kill Kittens, normally executed by the Almighty at a 1:1 ratio for each act of human masturbation. (Since the Reforms of ’79, acts of ape and chimp masturbation do not result in kitten executions. Ever since, humans have tried and failed to work out a similar deal with God, leaving many to feel shame and guilt over simply being human.)

The cease is valid on all days a new company pulls its advertising from FoxNews, a gesture which outraged the Mice Consortium, but to which the K9 Units responded with an enthusiastic wag of the tail.

 
 
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