and so i went back, and asked her “you ok?” i didn’t feel like talking polish.
she paused, smiled and said “yeah. thanks.” but then i figured anyone sitting outside a five star hotel on a curb at 1am, dressed like that, is probably not. the thunder went on, and i went back, but she was gone. later, i saw her walking over wyspy. we were both soaked, she smiled.
Hi. Tomorrow is a holiday in Poland. High spirits.
I had a post up about self censorship, which was online for a few hours before I self censored and hid it.
I think I’m a nihilist, and feel lonely. God dammit.
They killed Kenny.
Posted in Aspirations
, Whimsy ³
at June 6th, 2012. No Comments
The streets were filled with human bumper-cars today, while I had a cut me off! posty stuck on my back. After class I got the biggest smile from a woman as I held the door open for her on my way out – the smile cleared an open path through the sea of bumper-cars, and I had a good walk home.
There you have it, an attempt at noting down something worth remembering, described in semi-imaginative narrative. And here is another.
My grade-school teacher in Germany used to teach us to relax in a sort of meditation. We’d put our arms and heads on our desks, and in the softest voice she’d speak. I don’t remember her words, but my memory of the calm they ushered is as vivid as the smell of lilacs.
I cleaned out the washing machine today. After I pulled out the last batch of clothing out of it, the clothing smelled as if a swamp monster had regurgitated it. Test wash in progress. :)
After spending 200Złt at the store, I still forgot a bulb for my desk lamp. I’m using candles again to light the place and the atmosphere feels a bit churchy. Either the candles need to go, or I’ve to find a date. (Seeing that the former is probably easier, I’ll probably just walk over to the store tomorrow and get a bulb. And if I did a bad job cleaning out the washing machine I’ll smell tomorrow like the thing in the picture above, which will definitely make getting a bulb easier.)
While eating breakfast I turned my phone into a remote control for the notebook. This could be considered quite neat, but instead is probably comical: my flat is 18 sq. meters (about 200 sq. feet,) and a long broom stick would have done just as well. I was going to take a picture of the flat, but I can’t step back anywhere far enough to get more than one wall into a picture.
This concludes my day with the conclusion that I’ve done nothing of great importance today.
(Image credits: Hannah Krueger & The Blog of No)
Mia: Don’t you hate that?
Vincent: Hate what?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don’t know. That’s a good question.
Mia: That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute – comfortably share silence.
— Pulp Fiction
Posted in Aspirations
at May 4th, 2012. No Comments
“What’s another word for escape?”
“That’s not the one, there was something shorter…”
“Are you guys still meeting?” The old woman wore a beret over her silver hair, had a big smile and a pug dog on a red leash. She waited for my answer.
“We don’t know each other” I replied politely.
“Oh, oh, that’s a shame.” She walked off with a big smile. I liked her and her dog.
Claire: There may be life somewhere else
Justine: But there isn’t.”
While the pace of the film felt at times sluggish, I got into it in the second part. I think the characters needed more background – for the first half I wasn’t personally interested in them.
One thing I found to be life-like is how Justine, Claire and John betrayed their own personal characters in the end, and accepted their fate in ways so different than one might have expected them to.
The swan song of Melancholia nearing had a strangely calming effect, perhaps akin to the Titanic orchestra that played well into the end 100 years ago today. The Atlantic ocean took back from humanity that which humanity vainly harvested deep from under its skin torn and ripped greedily. Melancholia took everything else, leaving no one to lament or bemoan its fate.
Justine: The earth is evil. We don’t need to grieve for it.
Justine: Nobody will miss it.