Ripped Off in God’s Name
Daily, the 700 Club helps hundreds part with their money. Today’s focus was on those close to bankruptcy. Give god a tithe – 10% of your after tax income, preferably for the rest of your life – and he’ll bless you with a tax return to pay off your debt, with money left to pay the tithe. (The host went as far as he could with the insinuation, without making a firm claim. To his credit, he knows he would have got away with the latter, too.)
After the fool goes bankrupt in part due to the tithe, the family will fall to their knees, drag the children down to do the same, and thank god for his grace; thank him for the wisdom that the bankruptcy taught them. And when in the end they make it through financially, they will pay god double – once for the ‘wisdom’ they learned through failing the first time, and then for his grace to let them stand again.
If there is a hell, its gates will be shut for a thousand years after Pat Robinson drops dead, all its resources dedicated to torturing Mr. Robertson alone. Every vice will be clamped around his stretched body, the whole abomination kept in the burning bowels of every flame and spark that the dark pits can muster.
Should anyone pray for Pat while he’s paying for his crimes against his fellow men, he’ll be enlightened to the fact through divine revelation. And when the pain and suffering does not recede in the slightest, Pat will experience for himself what a time wasting and useless exercise prayer really is.
Ah yes, there are countless organisations attempting to separate people and their money – but how many can claim to offer salvation in return? I assume the logic is, if one intends to throw away his money on something, might as well be for the distant promise of eternal peace, rather than a box of Krispy Kremes… Religion is nifty that way: nothing can ever go wrong (unless you stop believing, or insult the big guy upstairs, or break any of his 38974 rules). Everything bad is good, because it’s an opportunity to grow and learn; everything good is good only because of the supreme being’s grace. It’s a neat party trick.
From my understanding the “investment vs. payoff” ratio is one of the main drives for sinking money into tithes and faith donations; a parallel with a $10 lottery ticket which can make one a multi millionaire. And regardless of odds, some people are so afraid of mortality they will put their life savings towards the cause. In the words of George Carlin, “He [God] always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more.”
Allow me to play devils advocate… Or God’s advocate (sometimes my cleverness make me giggle). When one gives money to a church in turn for a form of ‘salvation’ I find it to be the of the utmost corruption. Yet when you look at the rare, well-meaning (yes, I do believe Christians, Muslims and the like can be well-meaning) church or mosque they use funds to pay clergy (who don’t all rape young boys) and to aid in projects such as homeless missions. I can personally attest to seeing the tithe of churchs go into ‘good causes’ rather than into some sick scum bags pocket. So, maybe donating to a Church is not always a far out idea. But in the same sense I guess you may just as well give your funds to CIDA (if you want to throw more money at our government) or an agency non-faith based. (Alot of thoughts and rambles here, sorry.)