Hergest Ridge

Daily, the 700 Club helps hundreds part with their money. Today’s focus was on those close to bankruptcy. Give god a tithe - 10% of your after tax income, preferably for the rest of your life - and he’ll bless you with a tax return to pay off your debt, with money left to pay the tithe. (The host went as far as he could with the insinuation, without making a firm claim. To his credit, he knows he would have got away with the latter, too.)

After the fool goes bankrupt in part due to the tithe, the family will fall to their knees, drag the children down to do the same, and thank god for his grace; thank him for the wisdom that the bankruptcy taught them. And when in the end they make it through financially, they will pay god double - once for the ‘wisdom’ they learned through failing the first time, and then for his grace to let them stand again.

If there is a hell, its gates will be shut for a thousand years after Pat Robinson drops dead, all its resources dedicated to torturing Mr. Robertson alone. Every vice will be clamped around his stretched body, the whole abomination kept in the burning bowels of every flame and spark that the dark pits can muster.

Should anyone pray for Pat while he’s paying for his crimes against his fellow men, he’ll be enlightened to the fact through divine revelation. And when the pain and suffering does not recede in the slightest, Pat will experience for himself what a time wasting and useless exercise prayer really is.