Chinese Horoscope
While trying to find to what Chinese Zodiac group I belong to, I found that the general ‘If you are born in such and such a year, you are so and so’ are not very accurate. See, the zodiac spans according to Chinese years, and not the Roman.
With that in mind, I found a site that proclaims I’m a Horse. I read the description of what I am likely to be like, and here are the results with my comments in italics.
Horses are very appealing people. (I doubt it, not me anyway.) They are warm and friendly and dearly love social atherings with plenty of people. (Come again?) They are perceptive and enjoy talking. (Close enough.) They have a high spirited nature and are changeable. (Again, close enough.) This makes them hot-tempered, rash, and headstrong. (Headstrong, yes. No to the rest.) They are always falling in and out of love. (No, not if we are talking about people.) Quick to warm to someone, they are just as quick to lose interest. (Wrong.) Here today and gone tomorrow-these are the Horses. (Wrong.) Then when you decide not to see them again, here they come ready to pick up where they left off! (Wrong.)
Horses are adventurers at heart, (Close enough.) but they do have sharp minds and good abilities for managing money. (Mainly true.) They are self-reliant and energetic. (Yup.) They love exercise, both mental and physical. (Kinda, and yes.) Their movements are rapid, yet graceful; (lol, never thought of myself that way.) their speech is quick, yet elegant. (I guess it depends on what language is in question.) Horses want things their way and they will become aggressive when all else fails. (What happened to the above “they are changable”?) They value their freedom above all else. (Don’t we all?) They are not possessive or jealous of others. (I wish.) Being moody creatures, Horses depend on the feel of things. (I’m grumpy in the mornings, but moody is all wrong.) They possess the ability to improvise while events are in motion and can handle several things at once. (Average.) Horses find it difficult to unwind. (Guess again.) They keep strange hours and suffer from insomnia. (Strange hours, yes. Insomnia, far from it.) When they stop, it is usually from exhaustion. (Wrong, wrong, wrong.) It is hard for them to follow a schedule for they have no respect for routine. (True enough.) They need to keep busy but do best when given a free hand. (Yup.)
Horses are full of new ideas to solve tricky problems. (Sudoku, anyone?) When they have an idea, they want to get right to it. (Depends on the idea.) They work around the clock until they finish. (Laugh-out-Loud.) Horses want you to come to the point quickly since they don’t have time to spare. (Time to spare, yes. Still, the sooner you get to the point the better.) They will not care if you are blunt, just don’t waste their time. (True enough.)
Horses must be allowed to show their emotions. (No idea what this means.) They are hot-blooded, hot-tempered, and impatient, and they will gladly demonstrate. (Wrong²) In love, Horses are quite vulnerable. (Average.) They give up everything for the object of their affections. (Used to, but then I grew up.) This causes them trouble since they are such impulsive creatures! They must learn to use caution (Done.) If one has a Horse in their house, you can bet the Horse receives most of the attention. (No, please. No. Just leave me alone!) Horses like being the hub and have everything revolving about them. (Not unless you mean the hub of solitude.) In return, they work hard and share with everyone. (Average.)
Horses don’t mind starting over. (Chrono Trigger anyone?) They maintain their determination and enjoy new successes. (Maintain determination, average. Enjoy new success: Don’t we all?) They belong in careers where they are surrounded by people. (Hahahaha, I’m laughing, no one can hear me, and I’m loving it. You do the math.) They sway crowds and love being flattered. (“Opps, you made me throw up a little.”) The willful Horses get into countless predicaments (Wrong³) but they bail themselves out. They enjoy fighting their own battles. (Fair enough.) Colorful and lively, they make many friends. (Define ‘many’.) If they could be in several places at once,they would be delighted! (In bed sleeping, while getting my work done would be perfect.) Their spirit is restless and searching. (Kinda.) Creativity is part of their being. (I like to think so…) They are talented writers and performers. (I’ll leave the world to judge that.)
The original and uncommented horoscope was grabbed from here . Look yourself up on this page.
February 21st, 2007 at 21:30
After a spot of Polish humour, hilarity always ensues. I actually giggled out loud a few times. :)
Out of curiosity, I looked up mine (on a Wikipedia page, though), and discovered no surprises: I’m still a monkey! (More precisely, a Metal Monkey - good name for a band, methinks…) Of course, some of the description suits me to a tee, whilst other parts might be more suited to my evil twin. But then, aren’t all horoscopes like that? :)
February 23rd, 2007 at 14:57
I thought horoscopes are to be broad enough where they fit anyone… Swap the sign labels, and people will still think that the horoscope describes them well, despite the fact they are reading the description for another zodiac.
Anyway, glad I brought on a few giggles. With most entries, that’s one of the objectives. :)